


The One Where Everyone Finds Out

by imphsrule



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gay Keith (Voltron), Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Hunk & Lance (Voltron) Friendship, Hunk is a mess, M/M, Pidge and allura bonding, Pidge | Katie Holt Being a Little Shit, Secret Relationship, klance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-08-23 06:11:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8316793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imphsrule/pseuds/imphsrule
Summary: "NOW THAT YOU KNOW, IM OFF THE HOOK AHA! I DONT HAVE TO KEEP THIS SECRET ANYMORE, YOU CAN JUST TELL THEM YOU KNOW!" He stood excited for a moment watching the others. His smile faded as he saw Pidge calculating in their head."Ooooooorrrr...." They mused"NO," Hunk could see where this was going, "NO OR." Or, Allura and Pidge fuck with their friends for not trusting them.





	1. The one where Hunk is a mess

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, this is based off the Friends episode with the same name. I just thought it fit so well.  
> Also, sorry this is mostly Pidge and Allura being bros and Hunk being a sweet mess more than Klance, but :^)

That's it, hunk was done. This was the absolute last straw, he thought as he lay in his bunk, he was going to tell everyone. Blearily he looked over at his clock and audibly groaned as he saw it blink 2:30 am back at him. Hunk hadn't gotten more then five hours sleep in a week and this was just getting ridiculous. In the hallway he could hear Lance trying in vain to quietly walk past Hunks room, but for the thin boy he was, Lance sure made a HELL of a lot of noise. Choosing the room between Lance and Keith had been one of the worst choices of his life, (and Hunk had once accidentally eaten alien poo after mistaking it for a burrito-like object.) He had suggested they all pick rooms together because he had thought it would be fun. They could have sleepovers and use Morse code to talk between the walls, but at the time Lance and Keith had hated each other. Hunk had wanted them to bond, this wasn't the type of bonding he had meant...

  Goose bumps rose on his skin in protest as he shed his blanket. He was going to have to break up this little "sleepover" before he started hearing them sloppily making out through the walls. Hunk rubbed his eyes angrily as he walked into the hallway. He was tired of keeping these secrets, of trying to sleep through their noise. He had been keeping their secret for months! Ever since Keith almost died in a battle on the planet Cristoan. The paladins had stayed with the ruling family of Cristoians and after the battle everyone had thought the boys had run off to yell at eachother over the almost botched mission. Turns out, they had finally agreed on something...  Hunk had found out several weeks later when he tried to return the jacket he'd borrowed from Lance and walked in on them, both mostly nude. He had taken three showers that night, and stilled hadn't managed to wash the image out of his brain. They had begged him not to tell anyone, said they 'weren't ready to explain what this meant to anyone else'. Hunk was a nice guy so he agreed begrudgingly, but if THAT wasn't bad enough they started blaming HIM for their screw ups. Like the time pidge found a pair of boxers wedged in the couch and they made him tell pidge they were HIS and that he enjoyed walking around without them on so they wouldn't know Keith and Lance had done it in the commons area. Or the time Lance insisted on doing their laundry for privacy's sake and overloaded the washer with what he thought was Altean soap, but in reality was more like bleach, ruining Allura's ten thousand year old dress. Hunk had to say he did it because Lance doing laundry willingly would have been suspicious. But the WORST part of this whole thing was keeping secrets from his friends. He practically RADIATED shame. Every time he passed Pidge in the hallway he came close to bursting out the secret. Passing Shiro or Allura guaranteed he'd sweat bullets, and several times at the sight of Coran's trusting  smile he almost broke into tears and spilled the whole truth. Hunk was not made to keep secrets.

He resolved himself at Keith's door, drawing up to his full height and trying not to fall back over in exhaustion. He had to tell them off, he was going to start losing hair soon if he had to keep this up. He got up his courage and knocked on Keith's door, he wasn't about to burst in a second time. After a few seconds, and some loud shuffling sounds, he was met at the door by a shirtless and slightly disheveled Keith.

"Hel,- oh. Lance, you can come out!"

An equally rumpled Lance crawled out from under Keith's bed.

"Oh, hey Hunk." He called out cheerily, striking a very casual pose and flashing a smile.

"Don't 'oh hey' me!" The firmness startling even Keith. Hunk felt a little bad seeing the boy jump."Do you know what time it is?" Said Hunk a little softer this time, "it's 2:30 in the morning, I'm a growing boy! I need my sleep!" The whine was evident in his voice.

"I'm sorry dude, we'll try to be quieter next time.."

" No, no next time, I'm telling the rest of the team!" He turned to go.

"NO!" They yelled in unison.

"You've got to understand Hunk, we just aren't ready to tell everyone else yet." Keith's voice was softly pleading and he pulled Lance close as he spoke, "We just don't want anyone to know before we've had a chance to really figure this out ourselves." Keith was blushing slightly and the two looked at each other lovingly. If Keith was willing to share something that emotional it must be import to him. Hunk could feel his resolve slipping.

He sighed.

"Fine, I won't tell, BUT If you don't want me to tell, you have to act like there's nothing for me TO tell. That means Lance, back to your room!"

He practically drug the skinny paladin into the hall as Keith's door slid shut with a rush of air.

“OW OW OOOW HUNK JESUS CHRIST!”

Lance yanked his arm away and spun to look his friend in the eyes.

"Dude what gives!"

"Lance, I'm your best friend. I know how much this means to you, but I can't TAKE IT ANYMORE!" his hands ran down his face in desperation, "I haven't slept in WEEKS, I have bags under my eyes, Allura had a MINI FUNERAL for her dress, turns out HER FATHER BOUGHT IT FOR HER, YEAH, AND SHE THINKS  I RUINED IT. Pidge won't even SIT on the couch anymore! And if I keep being the person you go to to talk about how cute Keith's butt is anymore I MIGHT EXPLODE!" He gestured wildly as he spoke, his voice rising with his exasperation.

"Dude, dude, quiet!" Lance tried to calm the larger man.

“IM JUST SO TIRED MAN!" He bent over in a miserable slump, "So... tired..”

Hunk sighed and reopened his redrimed eyes to look at a slightly concerned Lance.

"I'm going to bed, I need my sleep for the good of the team. And Lance, please, PLEASE go to bed too," and as an afterthought, "NOT KEITH'S BED!”

Lance raised his hands in mock surrender,

"Would I ever betray you bro?"

Hunk pondered this for a moment with a frown before he tore his gaze from Lance's smug grin and padded back to his room. He fell asleep almost before hitting his pillow and only pulled the covers over his ears when he heard Keith's door open again.

Pidge had their laptop on the kitchen counter as usual, never tearing their eyes from the screen as they shoveled a purplish goop into their mouth. Allura sat at the head of the table. She had already showered and gotten ready for the day, as usual a flawless morning person, and in sharp contrast to the unruly child sitting at her elbow. Now she  sat sipping a steaming cup of something opaque and blue that smelled faintly of strawberries.

"Pidge, I'd like you to look at some inter-room coms today," mused the princess, " the castle used to have working communication speakers between each room but since we came back online only the loudspeaker has been working."

"Will thoo printheth."

Pidge muttered over a mountain of goop and switched from whatever they had been tinkering with to a digital map of the castle of lions, a spork handle jutting out of their mouth, forgotten. Coran walked in then, the picture of cheerfulness.

"Morning Pidge, Allura," he chirped, filling his mug with more of the blue liquid, "I see the other paladins are late risers, though I doubt pidge had much rising to do.." He eyed Pidge's messy hair and two day old outfit with mild concern.

"Thiros on tha thraining deck."

Coran shook his head.

"Someone needs to teach you kids about proper self care!" He sat down at the table, "no breakfast, no sleep.." he continued muttering into his cup. "...not staying long enough in the healing pods, charging into battle...no backup.."

So Coran nearly spit his drink when Hunk plopped down at the table next to Pidge.

"MY QUIZNACK! You look like you woke up in a nest of feathered Zingbabs!"

Indeed Hunk was a sight. His hair was matted into a shape that resembled a tumble weed and the bags that had been slowly forming under his eyes for the last few weeks were now an impressive shade of purple that rivaled the breakfast goop. Even his pjs seemed to be exhausted and hung limply from his shoulders.

Allura looked at him alarmed,

"Hunk you look simply AWFUL did you get enough sleep?"

His head shot up at this.

"What? Me, noT GET ENOUGH SLEEP? PFT! WHAT WOULD KEEP ME FROM SLEEPING? ONLY SILENCE AROUND MY ROOM, I SLEPT LikE A lOg aHA!"

Even Pidge was staring at him now. Hunk tried to take on what was supposed to be a look of alertness as he gathered his breakfast. It, however only succeeded in making him look somewhat like a very large, very creepy zombie.

“MMM ThIs bREakFaST lOOkS GrEAt!” He cried nearly falling back in his seat.

He then attempted to eat his food. His spork was successful in making it almost all the way to his mouth before the shaking of his arm dislodged the glob he was trying to ingest and caused it to fall unceremoniously into his lap. However, in his state, Hunk never noticed the jelly had fallen on his pants and proceeded in putting the empty utensil in his mouth.

“MMMMM tAStY!”

  The other three sat in stunned silence and watched as Hunk rubbed his stomach and praised his breakfast of air. Allura opened her mouth to question further when to the relief of her target, Keith and Lance walked in. While both boys also looked tired, they were more vibrant than Hunk. Well, Keith was as vibrant as Keith could be, considering he had put back on the same unwashed clothes from yesterday and tied up his greasy hair in a ponytail instead of washing it. Lance, however baggy his eyes, still looked well groomed and had a facial mask on and (what uses to be) one of Allura’s silk like house coats (he had stolen it from the laundry early on and now insisted it was his). They were bickering as always. Keith turned to the table.

"Ok, you guys HAVE to admit he looks ridiculous!" He gestured to Lance's face.

"It's a kiwi face scrub Keith, but I wouldn't expect YOU to know about that mister 'I shower once a month!'"

“Well at least I don't shower three times a day! You spend four hours on your hair alone!”

“Oh you wanna talk about hair mullet boy!”  

They kept arguing, and though these were their usual digs, neither seemed to be taking the insults too seriously Pidge noticed. Actually, both of them were, smiling, slightly as they gestured with their food filled sporks making various insults. Pidge made note of this as they returned to their screen.

After everyone arrived (Shiro had popped in to grab a fluid pouch and been told firmly he had to eat breakfast or else face Allura's wrath,) the princess informed them that since they had not received any distress signals recently and had no leads on Zarkon's whereabouts, that today was a chore day. A collective groan rang out from all the paladins except Shiro, who would never disrespect Allura. Lance was the first to be assigned, and was recruited to mop the training deck.

"That's nasty!" He protested, "I don't wanna mop up all you guy's bodily fluids! I don't even spend that much time there!"

"Well it might do you good to familiarize yourself then." Quipped Allura as Pidge, Hunk, and Keith broke into a chorus of OOOOHHH's at the burn. After Lance left the table to find a mop bucket (and wash his face), Allura assigned Keith to laundry duty (Hunk was no longer allowed to perform this task), and to dust the living quarters. Shiro was instructed to help with the moving of several supply crates from a storage deck. Pidge was to rewire some of the fifth level, and complete the aforementioned com tests, and after he almost fell asleep in his breakfast, Hunk was given the day off to take some rest, save for the task of disinfecting the couch in the commons. A job he accepted with some curses under his breath.

Pidge really didn’t mind their jobs, but they couldn’t let Allura know that. They had already done most of the repairs to the fifth floor and stood back admiring their handiwork. It’s not often that one gets the the self satisfied feeling that comes with being able to correctly repair ten thousand year old alien technology. They decided that the rest of the repairs could wait until after the com test, they wanted to be able to spend some time looking at the foreign circuit boards, and maybe trying to replicate them if they had the time. They made their way to the control room satisfaction evident in their cheerful step.

Lance however, was NOT happy with his job. Mopping the WHOLE training deck?! That was cruel and unusual punishment. His lip curled up in disgust and he mopped up what he HOPED wasn't a fairly decent sized dried splotch of blood. He hadn’t even done anything! That Allura knew…

“I bet its about the robe again,” he decided aloud, “She has like, TWELVE! What's the problem with me using one?”

He continued to grumble and scrub until he heard the doors to the training deck open and turned to see Keith with a basket of clean clothes under his arm. He gave lance a lopsided grin.

“I got done early.”

The mechanics for the com system were really very similar to the ones they had in the garrison on earth Pidge observed. Well, when you added all that weird quintessence shit that is. They smiled, remembering all the conversations they had overheard by accessing the garrison coms. They had meant to use it to find out information about their father and brother, but it turns out having dirt on your classmates in case you stayed up all night listening to alien conversations instead of doing homework was useful. Pidge flipped a few more switches and was satisfied that the coms were up and running, now they just had to check them each individually. And relabel them they decided noticing all the labels were in altean. They picked one at random and flipped the switch. Listening they could hear soft groans echoing and the thud of heavy objects. Putting their finger on the button for two way communication they yelled a singsongy “Hellloooo” into the mic.

“Pidge?” A startled Shiro replied.

“Hey Shiro, just testing the coms.”

Pidge moved through each room making sure the sound worked. Most of them were empty, the castle of lions was, after all, HUGE, but they WERE met by Coran’s off key humming in the kitchen as he prepared lunch, and Hunk’s bear like snores as he napped in his room. Pidge considered yelling into his com, but decided it would be too cruel. They were almost done with the tests when the flipped on a switch only to be met by a slobbery sound Pidge swore sounded almost like kissing. They kept listening for a while until they heard Keith's familiar voice.

“They don’t even know Hunk repaired the other washers, So everyone thinks I’m going to be doing laundry all day.”

“Ha! Is laundry my new nickname?”

Pidge clapped their hand over their mouth, eyes wide as lance’s voice voice piped up.

“No, you know what your nickname is my Lancie p-”

“AAAAAAAAAHHHH!” they cried covering their ears and scrambling to turn off the speaker.

Pidge sat for a moment breathing heavily thinking about what they had just heard.

“Shhhiiiitttt-.” They hissed, and decided not to try any more of the coms today.

 

Hunk had decided to take a nap first, and clean later. The busier Lance and Keith were the more potential sleep he could get, but he wasn't about to sleep through lunch and if he wanted to get some more nap time in before dinner he had to get up now and clean that couch. With barely two hours of rest in him, Hunk grumbled his way to the living room, disinfectant and rag in hand.  

 “Damn lance and keith...mmsmmfgd” He muttered, elbow deep in couch cushion.

Allura was, at that moment heading to the kitchen from the storage level. She and Shiro had made a game of the box loading, last one to unload 20 boxes had to get the other a fluid pouch. But after pummeling him into the ground, 20 boxes to five, she decided to be a gracious winner and get the pouches herself, meaning she had to pass the living room to get to them. She had heard Hunk while approaching and chuckled a bit at his sour murmurings, but she hadn’t really been listening, until he spoke again.

“If those two would have just waited till they got to Keith’s room but NOOOO! They had to go at it on our couch!”

Her long ears perked up at this.

“I swear, I am never letting lance use my stuff again if they don’t cut it out, and no more gentle morning wake ups from me! He can use the alarm clocks like everyone else! No more mister nice Hunk! I’ll tell everyone they've been doing it everytime they're out of earshot!"

Allura gasped slightly and hurried on when she saw Hunk turn towards her. The princess scurried down the hallway and pressed herself against the inside wall of the kitchen hoping the paladin hadn't seen her. She stood in the doorway, suddenly aware of what she had heard. She gaped open mouthed for a moment, a vacant look in her eye.

“Ah! Princess!” Called Coran, a mixing bowl in this hands, “Lunch will be ready in two tics!”

He winked and retreated farther into the kitchen to continue working on his concoction. Allura stood in her place quietly for a few moments before an equally stunned Pidge entered and sat at the table. Oblivious to each other's empty gazes the two were silent for a while, thinking on the magnitude of what they had just learned.

        “Pidge,” said allura without looking up, “What would you do if you found out something, something… important… about some of your friends, and you don’t want to gossip, but you feel you need to talk about it, for the good of the team?”

They turned to look at her, suddenly listening, eyes narrowing in suspicion.

“Allura, what do you know?”

“Wa-what? Nothing!, I was just asking…” She sputtered.

“No, you know something!” Said Pidge rising from their chair, “I know you know something, because I know something.”

Now Allura met their eyes.

“You know something?"

"Yeah," they said, slowly approaching the taller woman, "you could say I know something."

Allura pulled herself out of her slumped position and moved towards Pidge.

"If you know something, and I know something, and they are the same something, then talking about it wouldn't be gossip, right?" 

Pidge grinned slyly

"Yeah, it's just a conversation, just a friendly conversation because we are WORRIED about our dear friends." The two were slinking closer together, grins now visible on both of their faces.

"Now we just have to figure out if we know the same thing."

"Ok, tell you what princess, on the count of three we both say what we know. If its the same thing, we'll know, and if it's not, then...uh, there will be no secrets between us," Allura looked conflicted for a moment, but nodded, "ok, one, two.."

"I THINK LANCE AND KEITH MAY BE TOGETHER!"  
"KEITH AND LANCE ARE SCREWING!"


	2. The one where Pidge is evil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry this took so long! I've been going through a pretty hard time right now, and to add insult to injury my original copy of this chapter got deleted. Anyway, I hope you like this, it was cathartic to write.

Hunk had smelled Coran's horrible cooking from the living room and had come to see if he could salvage some part of the meal. He had entered just as the word "SCREWING" had left Pidge's lips, and now, as he stood in the entry way his mind was on anything but food. Allura and pidge had turned to look at the man as he entered, they stood frozen in place. Hunk's normally dark skin was pale and clammy 

"OoH, I thINk I hEAr ShIRo CalLinG Me," he blundered and gestured behind him, "I guess I'll JUsT..."  
"OH NO YOU DONT!" Allura had an authoritative air about her as she strongly gripped the fleeing Hunk's arm.  
"What do you know about this?"

"Wha, wHaT dO I kNOw ABouT WhAT??" His sweaty brow and weak smile did nothing to convince the Altean.  
"Hunk," she had subconsciously grown a few inches and was now staring down at Hunk as she held him by the shoulders, "my knowledge of human vocabulary may not be the best, however I know enough to realize that 'doing it everytime they are out of earshot ' (Hunk paled even further at this point) is an Earth euphemism." Pidge made dramatic gagging noises as Hunk and Allura remained locked in an intense staring contest. Hunk quivered under her steady gaze for a good minute before bursting out.  
"OK OK, I ADMIT IT. I KNOW ABOUT LANCE AND KEITH!!" 

"AHA!" Pidge was jumping up and down now pointing at him in triumph.

"How long has this been going on?" Allura's voice was accusatory and Hunk backed up a bit sheepishly.  
"Uhhh, since about the time we were on Cristoan ..."  
"THOSE LITTLE SHITS!"   
"Oh my..." the others had forgotten him by now.   
"I CANT BELIEVE THOSE FUCKERS DIDNT TELL US!" Pidge was pacing and waving their arms excitedly now, "ESPECIALLY ME, DID THEY REALLY THINK /I/ WOULD JUDGE THEM?? AND IM ONE OF LANCES BEST FRIENDS!!"  
"What about me?" Added Allura, "I am their leader! Having this kind of information about my team is important to the success of our missions!"   
The two kept rambling until the yellow paladin piped up.  
"Don't take it personal guys..." he sheepishly scratched the back of his head, "I don't even think THEY know what they're doing, honestly the only reason I know is because I walked in on them." He shuttered in memory, "and trust me you DO NOT want to be the one keeping this secret, uhg it has been TORTURE. Did you know they made me tell you gu... WAIT!" he suddenly exclaimed, "NOW THAT YOU KNOW, IM OFF THE HOOK AHA! I DONT HAVE TO KEEP THIS SECRET ANYMORE, YOU CAN JUST TELL THEM YOU KNOW!" He stood excited for a moment watching the others. His smile faded as he saw Pidge calculating in their head.  
"Ooooooorrrr...." They mused  
"NO," Hunk could see where this was going, "NO OR."  
"... they don't know we know, we have the chance to get back at them for not trusting us..." their glasses seemed to glint with the proposition.  
"PRINCESS," hunks eyes threatened to spill over with tears, "TELL THEM THEY NEED TO TELL LANCE AND KEITH, THAT ITS THE ONLY RIGHT THING TO DO."  
Allura was silent for a moment,   
"... tell me more pidge.."  
Hunk had slid down the wall onto the floor and now rested with his head in his hands.  
"Why does everything have to happen to me..."

 

"Are you sure about this pidge?"   
"Have I ever steered you wrong princess?"  
Allura pursed her lips but remained silent.  
"Listen, all you have to do is what I told you, it's FOOL proof!"   
The kid was almost vibrating with excitement. Their eyes were bright with mischief And they hopped about the kitchen table as though they had drank too much coffee. Lunch was about to begin and steaming plates of foul smelling goop sat around, ready to be transported to the dinning room. Allura tasted a dish, absentmindedly bringing a finger full of slime to her lips before she spoke.   
"Pidge, I have no prior knowledge of Earth courting rituals. I'm not sure I will make the correct impression upon him."  
"Allura, buddy, pal," they placed a hand on the princess's shoulder, "that boy would flirt with a TOASTER OVEN if it had a pair of soulful eyes, trust me, this will work."   
The woman looked at them skeptically.   
"Alright Pidge, I do hope you know what you're doing."  
Pidge smiled at this and triumphantly hoisted a large platter into their arms and headed out the door, nearly tripping under the weight.

/FUCK!/ Lance and Keith were sitting in a pile of toppled (and now unfolded) laundry against the side of a weight machine. Lance sat up suddenly, and Keith opened his eyes when he no longer felt his hair being played with.   
"Lance, what?.."  
"ITS ONE O'CLOCK AND I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT MOPPING THE DECK!"   
He shot upward, and as he did, hit his head on a bar, sending vibrations through his whole head. Keith looked up at him from the floor and struggled to stifle a laugh at Lance's grimace.  
"DONT LAUGH THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT MULLET BOY!"   
"What? MY fault?" He was now on his feet.  
"YEAH! If you hadn't come in here and distracted me I would have had my work done! Now Allura's gunna KILL ME!"  
"OH, so /I'M/ the problem for coming here?! I HAD all my work done! Maybe if you were quicker at your work you would have been done too!"   
The boys were leaning in close to eachother, their noses almost touching.   
Suddenly a grin spread upon Lance's face, his dark eyes sparkling in their characteristic way.  
"Well I'm sorry I'm not the quick one."  
Keith's face went red.  
"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU LITTLE..."   
Lance doubled over laughing, almost wheezing. He put a hand on Keith's shoulder for support and looked up into his still read face.  
"It's," he gasped, wiping away a tear, "still.. sso easy to, AHAH, to fluster you PFAHAH, mullet boy!"   
Keith grabbed his squealing boyfriend around the middle and, using an outstretched leg, toppled him back down into the pile, pinning his shoulders down with his hands.   
"OUF"  
The wind was knocked out of the skinny boy. They sat silent for a moment, and Keith lowered his face so his long bangs brushed against Lance's cheek. He stared straight into Lance's eyes with a fierce gaze, and Lance suddenly felt a bit frightened at the silence and the hard look. They sat like this for a few more seconds before Keith said slowly,   
"And it's still so easy to beat you, stick man."  
This of course caused a new wave of giggles to rupture out of Lance. He writhed in laughter under the now smiling Keith.   
"MY GOD, did Keith Kogane just make a JOKE?"  
Lance looked fake shocked.   
"Maybe next we can get you to say Tron...."  
A grinning Keith decided kissing his boyfriend was the best way to shut him up. 

"YO, DICK HEADS!"   
The sudden crackle of the loud speaker sent both of them flying to their feet. (Keith didn't laugh this time when Lance, once again, hit his head.)   
"GRUB'S READY, EVERYONE TO THE DINNING ROOM!" Pidge's voice called out of the ceiling, almost deafeningly loud.   
In the background before they slammed down the mic Allura could be heard saying something that sounded like "..you can't say dick heads over the loud speaker..."

"SHIT that scared me!" Lance was rubbing the back of his head with a slightly pained expression.   
"I thought someone came in and saw us..."  
"We have to be more careful." Keith's face was somber.  
"What?, "No more racy make out sessions on the training deck?" Lance was pulling a typical Lance grin, "I thought you liked the thrill." He teased.  
A red cheeked Keith pushed his face away with an outstretched hand and headed for the door.   
"C'mon, let's go eat."  
.....  
The table was set with plates and plates of food, but Hunk sat with his face down in his hands. He wasn't hungry, in fact, he felt like he might be sick. He had left the kitchen as soon as Pidge had started explaining their plan. He wanted no part of this. He looked up as Allura sat down gracefully at her usual place at the head of the table. She was calm and no trace of nervousness was apparent on her face. Hunk was struck with the thought that she was probably a fantastic diplomat for her planet 10,000 years ago. He was also struck (and I mean literally, struck) by the fact that Pidge, most definitely would not have been, when they nearly launched themself into the chair beside him, accidentally kicking him in the side in their excitement.   
"Oh Hunk, buddy, this is gunna be good." They vibrated in their seat, seeming not to notice their friend was rubbing his side in pain.   
"Pidge, I don't want ANYTHING to do with this, I know NOTHING about this, GOT IT?" His side was still sore but he stared them in the eye with only a slight wince of pain.   
"Fine dude," they shrugged, "but seriously, I wish I had popcorn. You're missin' out."  
They quieted suddenly when Keith entered the room. He looked nonchalance as he sat down at his usual place, and began filling his plate in typical Keith fashion, not realizing he should probably wait for the others to arrive first. Next entered Lance. The boys had staggered their entrances so not to appear suspicious. Pidge found this extremely hilarious and only bairly managed to keep from laughing out loud as he attempted to sit down in his normal seat next to Keith.   
"Oh Lance!"   
He looked up at Allura's voice, chair already half pulled out.  
"Would you mind sitting here, by me today?"   
He glanced at Keith and shared a look of bewilderment, before shrugging his shoulders and settling himself with a flourish beside the princess. He sat in nervous silence for a moment, wondering if Allura was going to start chewing him out for not finishing the training deck, but he soon decided, after she smiled at him a few times, that if she knew he hadn't finished his chore, she aparently wasn't going to bring it up now. So he helped himself to the food. Finally Coran and Shiro entered, apparently engaged in a conversation about the castle defenses. Shiro approached his normal seat at Allura's right hand when he noticed with a start, that it was occupied by the blue paladin, who turned to look at him with a sizable piece of goo hanging out of his mouth.   
"Oh, uh... sorry, I'll just.." Shiro rambled and gestured down the table. He tried not to look hurt as he took a seat on the other side of Keith.   
"Thiro! Waif!"  
Lance reached his hand out to call Shiro back but was stopped as it was grasped by a pair of slender hands.   
"Lance, don't apologize, I was the one who asked you to sit here. I want YOU to sit beside me."   
He turned to stare at Allura, who was looking at him softly and holding his hand in both of hers.   
"Mef?"   
A bit of the goop from his mouth shot forward and landed on the crescent of Allura's cheek. She shuttered before delicately wiping the sludge from her face and regaining her composure.  
"Of course silly."   
Lance's eyes went wide, but he tried to remain passive as he slowly turned his eyes away an returned to eating. As the normal table conversations went on around him, Lance couldn't help but think there was something odd going on with Allura. He started to wonder if Hunk had sold him out about the dress thing and this was some strangely elaborate punishment, when he felt a breath on his ear.   
"Ur cute when u eat."   
He jumped away from the voice in fright knocking his cup down the table, spilling iridescent juice in shiro's dinner. The black paladin was not known for his temper, but at that moment his glare could have boiled Lance's blood. Lance smiled apologetically, and tried to dab his drink from around his friend's food. He sheepishly returned to his seat after realizing you cannot absorb liquid after it has sunk into gelatinous substances. He was quiet and red faced the rest of the meal. He tried his hardest not to look at Shiro, or Allura. Pidge thought holding in this much laughter must be considered torture.   
Lance was almost finished with his second helping of food, and was trying to inconspicuously shoot Keith a look of helplessness, when he felt the unmistakable sensation of a foot running up and down his leg.  
"AaaAAAHAHA!"  
He made a screeching sound not unlike that of his chair as he suddenly stood up, pointedly not looking at the princess.  
"I'm, uh....can I be excused? Thanks!" He didn't wait for permission before scurrying out the door. The others sat confused, spoons halfway to their mouths.  
Coran twisted his mustache thoughtfully,  
"What was all THAT about?"  
"PFT," Pidge buried their snickering face behind a bowl, "I wouldn't know."


	3. The One Where Allura Apriciates Some Choice Paladin Ass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finishing this Chapter is my Christmas gift to myself! I squeezed a bit more Klance into this one (at the expense of poor flustered Hunk, but don't worry, he's back next chapter.) Sorry the formatting can be weird, im typing this entire fic in the notrs section of my phone. Anyway, enjoy!

Keith found Lance waiting in his room, perched on the edge of his bunk. Keith had seen him here many times before, and his heart lurched a bit at the sight, but when Lance turned to look at him, he knew instantly that he was here to talk.  
"What's up Lance?"   
The door whooshed shut behind him and he settled himself beside his weary looking boyfriend. Keith wasn't good at comforting people. He contemplated resting his hand on Lance's knee as a gesture of concern, and let it hover over his leg for a moment before deciding against it.   
"Ok," Lance blew out air, "Ok, so, you know how Allura asked me to sit by her today?"  
Keith couldn't see where this was going, but he nodded anyway.  
"Well," he paused again biting his lip, "I think she was hitting on me."  
Keith couldn't help it, he burst out into the deepest laughter he'd felt in a while.   
Lance shot up in indignation.   
"WHATS SO FUNNY!"   
Keith was still reeling with giggles.  
"Lance, don't you remember," he had to stop to catch his breath, and wipe a few tears from his eyes, "..that time you thought that alien chick at that space port was hitting on you, and then later she asked Allura if she could BUY YOU?"  
Lance was practically livid.  
"SHE WANTED ME AS A SEX SLAVE!"  
Keith was wheezing at this point, "SHE CALLED YOU A "Good Fella" AND SCRATCHED BEHIND YOUR EARS!!"  
"SHE WAS A KINKY ALIEN!"  
A new wave of laughter coursed through Keith and he had to clutch his ribs in pain. Lance was redder than Keith's lion.  
"FUCK YOU DUDE, I KNOW WHEN IM BEING HIT ON, ILL JUST GO CONFIDE IN SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY BELIEVES PEOPLE CAN BE ATTRACTED TO ME!" He stormed angrily toward the door, and it sprang open in response.  
Keith was out of breath, and his face was a bit cramped from smiling, but he got up after Lance anyway and placed a hand on his shoulder.  
"Lance. You do realize who you just said that to, right?"  
"Oh." The boy was stunned into sheepish silence.  
"/I/ like you, you don't have to sell me. I was just laughing because you are dense as SHIT when it comes to people actually flirting with you," Keith was smiling broadly again despite his face hurting, "Like, seriously dude, I spent MONTHS purposefully being shirtless whenever we sparred and you never caught on, and Allura asks you to sit by her ONCE..." 

"WAIT, YOU WERE ONLY EVER SHIRTLESS WHEN /WE/ SPARRED? I THOUGHT THAT WAS JUST A STRATEGY, like, keep slippery so the enemy can't grab you or somethin..." 

"Lance, would I have let you pin me if I hadn't wanted you to grab me?"  
Lance was on the defensive again.  
"LET ME! I'll have you know I won all of those matches FAIR AND SQUARE!"   
Keith was grinning harder than ever.  
"Prove it, noodle arms."  
Lance's signature smirk was back on his face.  
"Oh it's ON fly boy!"  
Keith's door slid shut with a bang. Someplace on the ship Hunk's spidey sense was tingling.  
......

"How was that Pidge?" Allura stood with them in front of the soap filled sink. They had both volunteered to wash the dishes after the meal so they could have the kitchen to plot the next faze of their scheme. Allura felt like she should at least LOOK like she was washing, and had her hands in the suds, but Pidge hadn't so much as touched a plate. They now sat perched upon the counter, excitedly leering down at the princess.  
"HOW WAS THAT? Allura, didn't you /see/ him jump up from the table?! That was FANTASTIC!"  
"Then he believes I find him attractive?" Allura was still skeptical of thestrange earthling courting rituals.  
"Allura, my dude, he probably thinks you want to have his babies. That performance was the SHIT."   
Allura suddenly went pale, soapy hands going to her face leaving bubbles on the tip of her nose.  
"PIDGE, I did not commit some human act of marriage did I!?"  
"PF AHAHHA, nah Allura, ur safe."   
"Oh! Then I am delighted our plan is working! However I feel a bit bad for both Shiro and Lance. Do you think he has told Keith yet?"   
"I guess it depends on how into Keith he is. Honestly I never pictured Lance as the dating type, *under their breath* (mostly because I never thought he could /GET/ a date. ) I really expected him to flirt back at you and piss Keith off, but his reaction was WAY better."  
Allura looked a bit aghast.  
"PIDGE my intent was NEVER to intrude upon the relationship!"   
"Nah, I know princess, we didn't hurt anything. Actually, I think if we really wanna see this through, we still have to kick it up a notch.." They leaned back against the cabinets, musing on the idea.  
"Ok, at dinner time, here's whacha' do..."  
....  
Lance and Keith hadn't realised how much time had passed. They had started out with a rousing game of "let's pretend wrestle while actually flirting" which led into "let's make out on the floor of Keith's room" which turned into "let's actually wrestle because Lance just remembered that Keith insinuated he's better at wrestling then him" which desolved into "laughing in a tangled pile on the floor after nocking over and breaking a glass of water on Keith's night stand."

"Ya know, I always said if we ever got together we'd make a splash."   
Keith stifled a good natured groan and accepted a kiss from the boy looming over him.  
"HEY LAZY SHITS," Keith and Lance sprang apart and Lance smashed the top of his head on the table above him, "DINNER'LL BE READY INA HALF HOUR, SO IF UR CHORES ARENT DONE, HURRY UP OR ALLURA'LL HAND YOU UR ASSES." Once again the princess could be heard in the distance mumbling what sounded like "Pidge, that is anatomically impossa...."

"DAMN Pidge and their load speaker, always cock blocking me!" Lance was pouting and rubbing his head rocked back on his heals, still splayed over Keith

"I'd be more concerned with the concussion youre probably getting."   
Lance leaned in closer.  
"The only stars I'm seein are the ones in your eyes~."  
Keith intercepted his advance with an outstretched hand and quirked an eyebrow upward.  
"Don't you still have to finish mopping the training deck?"  
"UUHHHG," Lance slumped against him and wormed his face into the side of Keith's neck, "I don't wannaaaaaa..."  
Keith tried not to be sucked in by the heat of Lance's breath on his skin.  
"Well geez Lance," He smirked impishly, "if /I/ were the one in charge of cleaning the deck, it would already have been done."   
"OH YEAH?" Lance was already sitting up, glaring, "Put your money where your mouth is pretty boy!"  
"What did you have in mind?"   
"First one to clean half the deck wins, and the loser does their chores for two weeks!"   
"Deal."  
Lance was already halfway out the door. Keith couldn't believe it was this easy to get him to clean. Competition, works every time.   
.........

Dinner couldn't come soon enough. Pidge was jumping in their seat, this was gunna be the payoff. They flashed Allura a pair of thumbs up, which she returned with a bit of confusion, but with a smile none the less. The table was filling up quickly, Coran and Shiro and Hunk arrived and sat in their usual seats, Shiro, with some hesitation. Pidge was a bit disappointed to see that Allura wasn't about to kick Shiro out of his seat beside her this time, but seeing how relieved he was to be able to sit there again, made them feel a bit guilty about the last time. Lance an Keith entered last. They were both rumpled and sweaty, though Pidge tried not to think about why. They seemed to be arguing amongst themselves, and on a devious level Pidge hoped it was their doing.The boys kept muttering, something about Lance doing Keith's chores, but they were quiet a to not disturb the others. Everyone dug into the slimy feast , but raised their heads as Shiro spoke up.

"I'd like to thank everyone on their diligent work today. I know we haven't seen any action in a few weeks, but I appreciate all of your commitment to keeping up team moral and the general cleanliness of the castle. I would ESPECIALLY like to thank Keith and Lance, who I've noticed have really made an effort lately to put aside their differences for the good of the team. Just today I saw them on the training deck working together to get the place cleaned in time for dinner. Now that, is teamwork, we should all follow their examples." 

Keith was utterly pale. Lance was smirking at him.  
"Yeah, we just decided to put our feud to bed. I mean, to rest," he said, innocently.   
Keith tried to kick him under the table, but missed, instead hitting the yellow paladin who yelped in surprise. Everyone but Shiro and Coran, who were quite content, tried very hard to pretend they didn't know exactly what that comment was about.  
"To Keith and Lance, and friendship!" Coran raised his fluid pouch in salute.  
"Here here!" Declared Shiro, raising his as well.  
The others followed much less enthusiastically.  
"Here, here..." They muttered.  
The princess looked pointedly and suggestively at Lance durring her toast and sucked down the entirety of her drink without breaking eye contact. He gulped, eyes wide, and quickly turned away toward Keith, sweating slightly. 

The dinner carried on. Coran talked about a planet they would be visiting soon that had had a strong ally-ship with Altea back in it's day. Pidge talked about how they had managed to download some movies they had watched on earth from the memory card on the phone they had had with them when they first left the planet. They suggested a movie night was in order and started talking about dates.  
Allura, generally the moderator on all table discussions, was uncharacteristically quiet tonight, Lance noticed. He had been trying to listen to the conversation at hand, but after looking up and noticing her staring at him, more than a few times, Lance stopped keeping track of what was being discussed.   
Lance had hardly eaten, but as soon as he noticed the other's plates begin to empty he sprang up.  
"Me 'n Keith'll wash the dishes!"  
He dragged the unwilling boy by the arm as he started collecting loads of dishes and carting them to the kitchen. Keith turned to him once they were out of earshot.  
"Why'd you volunteer us Lance?"   
He set his plates roughly in the sink and leaned close.  
"She is doing it /again/!" Lance whispered conspiritually, "Allura was staring at me all through dinner!"  
Keith rolled his eyes and headed back out to grab more plates.  
"I'm not /kidding/ Kogane!" Lance was whisper yelling as he followed him back into the dining room.  
He heaved a sigh and joined Keith in loading his arms with more plates. Most everyone was up now, and milling about starting to leave, but Lance noticed the princess stood back. He loaded his arms as much as he could carry and was following the other boy back to the kitchen when he dropped a spork and had to bend down to pick it up. Just then Allura walked by, and leaned over just enough to swiftly pinch his ass in passing, causing Lance to pitch forward and nearly drop the plates he was holding.  
"Cute butt." She offered lightly, loftily walking away, as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened.  
Keith's eyes trailed after her and then shot back to Lance who was standing now, no longer in shock.  
"DID YOU SEE THAT!?" Lance's sense of 'I told you so' mingling with his incredulity.  
"YEAH!?" Keith looked dumbstruck.   
"NOW do you believe she's got it bad for everyone's favorite paladin?"  
Keith was silent for a moment before his eyes lit with realization.  
"HOLY SHIT, SHE KNOWS, SHE KNOWS ABOUT YOU AND ME LANCE. THATS GOT TO BE IT!" 

Lance was mortally offended.  
"WHAT? You don't think a beautiful Alien lady would be into me? You don't think Allura just finally came around and fell for my good looks and boyish charms?" He paused a moment thinking on his own words, "HOLY SHIT SHE /DOES/ KNOW!"


	4. explanation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, this isn't actually I chapter, I'm so sorry to disappoint. I realize iits been a while since I updated and I thought you might deserve an explanation. I was recently outed to my parents and was forced to leave home for my own safety. I'm doing alright, but I haven't been writing much because I've been trying to deal with legal issues and settling into my new life. As soon as things stabilize I'll finish this fic, I promise, so don't take it off your list! Know that some of the comments on this have kept me going <3 I love you all!

HD JD kskms


	5. The One Where Keith's Face Cosplays as His Lion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I know some of you have been worried about me, and I'm happy to say I'm actually doing alright. I'm living with some very nice people, and me and a friend plan on getting an apartment in December! I'm sorry for the lack of updates, I've been battling a lot a mental health issues plus a lack of laptop since mine was broken not long after I left home. So sorry this update is so short, I just wanted you all to have one, and this part has been sitting in my notes for months since I intended on making it longer. Anyway, thank you all so much for your support, enjoy!

Hunk wasn't exactly the luckiest man in the world, he knew this. You don't get sucked into the black abyss of space in a giant alien lion ship while having severe air sickness, get stranded on a ship that only provides silly putty for food, and then get told you are the savior of the entire universe without having some major bad luck. But this whole Lance and Keith thing just kept kicking him while he was down. Which is why he was only a little surprised when he entered the kitchen to find them discussing the whole situation. They were seated at the kitchen table resting on their elbows, dishes abandoned beside them. The scene was all too familiar. Their words met his ears before he even crossed the threshold. 

"OK, well, if she DOES know, how do you think she found out? It's not like we've been OBVIOUS about it.. right?"

"Well GEE Lance, I wonder WHO else, besides you and me, could have POSSIBLY told h..." 

Keith's words were cut off as Hunk entered the room. He instantly wished he hadn't as both of their faces snapped up to meet him. He suddenly felt a crippling wave of deja vu. 

"UUUUHHH, WHOOPS, WRONG ROOM...I'll just.."

They rose to their feet as he began to back away. 

"Oh no you don't. What do you know about this Hunk?" 

Keith had sprinted to put himself between Hunk and the door and was now leering a little close for Hunk's taste. Despite the fact that he was about twice as big as him, Hunk had always been a bit scared of the small angry man. But usually his rage was directed at an enemy or, a training bot, or occasionally Lance, not at him. Keith's eyes shone with accusation and Hunk swallowed hard, but Lance placed his hand on his boyfriend's shoulder and his hackles seemed to settle a bit.

"Hunk," Lance was much calmer than Keith as he directed his attention to his friend, "buddy, pal, you didn't tell anyone about us, did you?" 

"I SWEAR GUYS I DIDN'T TELL THEM, I PROMISE!" Hunk realized his mistake almost immediately and clapped his hands over his mouth.

"THEM?!" They exclaimed in unison, their eyes bugging out.

"Who is 'them'??? We were talking about Allura." Lance now looked a little more like Keith had earlier.

"Well, uuuhh," Hunk back peddled, "I mean, Allura has never technically TOLD us her pronouns, I was just trying to be respectful..." 

"Cut the crap Hunk. What's going on." Keith put his hand on his hip and he and Lance glared at their friend with mutual contempt.

He sighed. Hunk wasn't getting out of this. He ran a hand through his rapidly thinning hair and looked at his shoes in defeat.

"Ok, look, I didn't tell them ok," he looked back and forth between the boys, "I would never do that, I know how much this means to you guys, but Allura heard me talking, and she told Pidge or something, I don't know..." 

Lance threw his hands in the air.

"Of fucking COURSE THEY were in on this, no wonder the Princess was acting funny! Pidge probably planned this WHOLE THING!" He seemed a bit bothered by the fact that Allura's affections hadn't been genuine.

Keith looked at him seriously.

"Lance, what are we going to do."

But Lance's mind was already whirring as he paced the kitchen. He wasn't going to let these two get away with this shit, oh no. His teammates following him with their eyes in curiosity. He stroked his chin pensively and snapped his fingers as he looked up excited.

"Ok, hear me out," he was gesturing wildly already as he hurried towards the other paladins, " They know about us, and they're trying to get us to admit it by having Allura flirt with me, but they don't know WE know THEY know, sooo, what if we give them exactly what they don't expect?" 

His smirk was deadly and his sight was fixed right on Keith.

"What do you mean Lance..." Keith squirmed a bit under his boyfriend's mischievous gaze, "Lance... Lance I do NOt like the way you're looking at me ...." 

Hunk could practically taste the scheme in the air and he buried his head in his hands and muttered a prayer under his breath.

"Oh," Lance placed a hand on the wall behind Keith and leaned forward wiggling his eyebrows, "you've got nothin to worry about babe."

. . .

 

Keith was officially worried. He found himself standing in the control room watching Lance and Hunk pour over a microphone and set of buttons, much to his protest and dismay.

"Ok, this is the on switch... And this should be the button that directs you to the princess's floor ..." 

"Lance, I'm not doing this." Keith said, causing the other paladins to look up from their place at the controls.

His arms were crossed and he stood far away from the microphone as if it might bite him. Hunk was relieved.

"Well, that's your choice, we will all respect your dec..." but Lance wouldn't have it.

"Ah come on babe,,," his face was twisted into a puppy dog pout as he nuzzled up to his boyfriend.   
Keith was a bit tired of his bullshit, but he couldn't say no as he looked into those crystal blue eyes staring lovingly up at him. He sighed loudly and let his shoulders droop.  
"Lance I've never done this. What am I going to say?"   
The blue paladin squealed with delight, ignoring the question and focusing on the fact that Keith was willing to take part in his scheme. 

"I'm serious Lance! What do I say??"   
But Lance was busy at the controls, flipping switches with Hunk's instruction.   
"Don't worry dude," He said over his shoulder,"I'll be right here, just pretend you're talkin to me!"   
Seemingly finished with his switch flipping, he gingerly held out a receiver on a long twisting cord to the other boy, not giving him any chance to back down, and waggled his eyebrows once more for good measure.  
Keith sighed, once again defeated by Lance's disgustingly cute face, and swiped the object out of his hand grumpily.   
"Ready to go when you are." Hunk mumbled reluctantly, turning a dial and producing a crackling noise over the intercom in Keith's hand.  
Keith huffed a final, resigned sigh.  
"I am NOT going to pretend it's you," and then under his breath, "I don't want to say anything homicidal to the princess..." he pushed in the button on the receiver with shaking hands.

"He-hello?" Keith's voice was dry and he cleared his throat.  
"Hello?"  
"Yes, who is this?" Keith froze at the woman's voice.  
"Uh, it's Keith."  
The surprise in Allura's tone was genuine.  
"Oh! Hello Keith, to what do I owe the pleasure?"  
He cleared his voice once more in an attempt to sound confident.   
"I noticed you hitting on Lance today, and I have something to say about it."  
"...Oh?" He could have sworn he heard a small snicker in the background but tried to ignore it.  
"Go on then." Allura sounded almost amused.  
"What I want to say..." He inhaled and let the air flow out of his mouth slowly, readying himself for what he was about to do,"What I want to say is, why would you go for him, when you could get with a real paladin, like me?"

The princess seemed to be stunned to silence. Keith was as red as his lion and he was eternally grateful he hadn't done this in person. The line stayed dead for what Keith felt was an insultingly long time He had no idea what to do and was mentally kicking himself for agreeing to do this. He looked up desperately at his teammates for support but Lance was glaring at him with obvious contempt at the way he had phrased his come on, and Hunk sported a look that said "you brought this on yourself."  
After several moments of radio quiet, and some whispered muttering on the other end, Allura's calmed voice broke the icy atmosphere.

"I was not aware you saw me that way Keith," His hands were shaking, "however, if I had, I would never have directed my attention elsewhere."   
The princess's voice was heavy and lilting and Keith almost dropped the speaker. He had to let go of the button on order to shoot panicked looks at his friends. He hadn't expected to get this far. Lance made a shooing motion, encouraging his boyfriend to continue flirting with another woman. Keith thought there was some kind of irony there.  
"Well, uh, that's, uh, good to,, to,, hear.." his voice cracked and wavered and he once again thought he heard giggling over the other end.

"Well, Keith, since it appears we both find each other physically attractive, would you like to come to my cabin, oh say, later tonight?"  
Keith nearly choked.  
"So,, so soon,?,,"   
"Well Keith, I HAVE been frozen for over ten thousand years."   
He tried to gulp down the lump in his throat but found it utterly dry.  
"Uhhhhhh, sh sh sure Princess!"  
"Well, I'll see you then, oh, and Keith?"  
"Y yes Princess?"  
Her voice was soft and suggestive, "Call me... Allura."

He slammed the receiver down, hard onto it's port, beet red and shaking slightly.  
Lance looked like he couldn't decide between being jealous or ribbing his boyfriend for being so nervous. Hunk was shaking his head slowly as if to say he knew this was a bad idea, and if you listened hard enough, young Pidge could be heard somewhere in the distance, her rancorous laughter reverberating off every wall.  
...  
"OHMYGODALLURAYOUFUCKINDIDITHOLYSHIT" Pidge's eyes were bugging out of their head as they bounced around the cabin, "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GOT, /KEITH/, TO HIT ON YOU, THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE," They ran their fingers throught their hair and chuckled in disbelief.  
"Pidge, I cannot help but feel slightly bad," The woman was seated on her bed, winding her hair in her hands in worry.  
"WHaT? NONONnono no. AL, this is gunna be great, TRUUUUUST me, the payoff is almost here."  
"But Pidge, I believe I have driven them apart, That was never my intention, you told me this would be a harmless "Prank", but I fear I may have stolen Keith away. I mean, I cannot blame him, my charm and excellent appearance were known across the galaxy..." She stopped at the teen's snickers, "What is so amusing about that statement Paladin?"  
"Oh it's nothing about you AL, Keith is just one of the gayest guys to ever live."  
"G-ay?"  
"Lets just say you aren't his type Princess, but thats not the point, the point IS they know that we know."  
"They do?"  
"Oh yeah, Lance I might have believed, but Keith? Nah, they know alright, BUT, they don't know we know they know we know."  
"You.., seem to have lost me Pidge..."  
"Don't worry, all you have to do is exactly what I tell you when Keith gets here tonight. I'll hide in the bathroom, and you can say you need t'a piss if you don't know what to say. You just have to keep up this game longer than Keith, which shouldn't be hard, and then, they'll HAVE to admit they were hiding it from us."  
"...Alright, I trust your judgment of the situation as a human, but I'll admit, I am quite lost."  
"Oh, that's even better Princess, you just wait."

**Author's Note:**

> This first chapter was basically just set up for the rest. This is my first fic, wrote it mostly durring class, so thanks for reading my first attempt lmao.


End file.
